Get More Fans
Have you been playing gigs and not getting tons of fans to your shows? Have you been searching the internet for an answer and only finding things that don’t work? Yes, get a myspace page, get a facebook page, send out e-mails, spam craigslist, tweet, pretend to be cool, and kiss Bill Gates. That doesn't really work. Here is some other stuff that no one ever tells you about (that won't work either.)
WARNING These methods below should not be used under any circumstances unless you want your band to have even less people show up to your gigs.
Music- You need to have a band that is playing at least 'tolerable' music. The music does not have to be great but it shouldn’t annoy anyone. As long as you are not annoying the heck out of everyone; the music is secondary. People going to shows don't listen to your music anyways. They are just there to get drunk and try to dance. Your job is to make people look better to a person of the opposite sex, so that they can try to take them home. Loud music will reduce the amount they have to talk to each other. Less talking mean less chances to sound like an idiot.
Invite your friends to your shows- If you have not been inviting your friends to your show… START NOW. If you don't have any friends, find some or buy some. Making up friends is a great idea but since invisible people never pay the cover charge, do this sparingly.
Go To Other Shows- This is the most important things. You should be going to at least one show put on by other local acts every week. Introduce yourself to the band, bring a hand bill for your next show and give it to each member of the band (we’ll get into hand bills in a second). Most local bands go see other local bands. If you make it a point to go to other local shows, well, they will come to yours. During their show it is a good idea to clap loudly after every song screaming your bands name. Be sure to make eye contact with the band's lead singer. Stare him down. He needs to know you mean business. Sometimes other bands will sense weakness and steal your fans. You are there to steal fans and they cannot stop you.
Hand Bills- For each show print up 100-237 handbills. You should be able to fit four on a regular piece of paper. Print them up at home! Really cheap. Or bring them to Kinko's and pay way too much. Go to a website that offers free digital pictures (flickr.com) and use one of the public domain pictures. Download the picture to your computer and edit it in your picture program. Then just place text with the info of your show on the handbill; date, time, band name ETC. if you are not any good with computers then you should really learn. I mean, these things will be running the country pretty soon. Have you read 1984? NO?!?!?! You need to read 1984.... or if you are dumb, watcha matrix movie.
Posters- Don’t go crazy with these. Three to five for each show are more than enough(make sure to put one at the club and one at your work and one at your parents house). Unless you are a known band already, no one is going to see your poster and decide to go to your see your band. you should also make sure that when you hang up these posters you place them OVER other posters. People will respect you for that. It shows that you are not intimidated easily. Also be sure to fasten the posters to walls securely. Use a strong glue, or spit.
Give away CDs- Wait, but you want to sell them. NO. NO you can’t. Give them away. Now, never do factory made CDs. You need to get creative. Burn the CDs on your neighbors computer. Decorate them with a sharpie or other ink. You will also need to put them in a case. NOT A JEWEL CASE. No no no, we are giving these CDs away. Take a piece of paper and cut it in half.. Now, fold it in half. This will be your CD sleeve. Put the CD inside it and staple the upper two corners. Blamo. You have a very cheap CD to give away. Make sure on this cover you have printed your band name, web address, upcoming show, home address, Social security number, location of Jimmy Hoffa and a picture of a cut cat doing something silly. Go to a local show where a band is playing that sounds like yours. Go nuts and give away a bunch of free CDs. you should also make sure that while at this show to be as drunk as possible.
How to hand out handbills and CDs- NEVER just hand something to someone and walk away. You need to make a connection with them. If you don’t make a connection they will not care what you have to give them and you have just wasted your time. Talk to the person first. A good conversation starter “boy, this band is good” also, to make them at ease that you are not hitting on them (boy or girl) mention your significant other immediately somehow in the conversation. Basically, you are trying to make a quick new friend that when you give them a CD they will not just toss it in the trash. If you give a CD to someone and they suddenly seem to not care about what you are saying... take the CD back, punch them and move on. This world is filled with too many stupid music haters to waste your time.
E-mail- Make sure you have an e-mail list. You should e-mail everyone on this list at least 4-5 times a day. Send them cute pictures you found on the internet or links to sites that might give them viruses. You should also try sending everything in Latin. ECCE EN PICTURA!
If you liked this article you just might like:
Stuff Every Guitar Player Should Know PART ONE
Stuff Every Guitar Player Should Know PART TWO
How to get new band members