Three Things All Musicians Should Know

Three Things All Musicians Should Know

1. Being a musician will attract the opposite sex- ---

Yep- it’s true, when you are a musician you seem very attractive to the opposite sex. Like Brad Pitt circa 1999 attractive. Well, unless you are an ugly man-beast and…. And let’s face it- most of the people who read this site are on the bottom side of the attractive scale (Attractive people are busy getting busy-not surfing the internet). However, you can use being a musician to ‘trick’ the opposite sex into believing you are the next incarnation of Ryan Gosling. By exploiting the “love of the musician” to your advantage you can find your perfect soul mate or just sleep around with a bunch of people with questionable morals (no judgment here!). However, here’s the rub… Although your magical powers of being a musician will make people swoon over you at first- it wears off. The romance of dating a musician becomes less miraculous after your newly found mate goes to a few of your shows, helps you lug gear at 2am, finds out you don’t have a real job, sees you when they are sober and smells you. So make sure you use that 2 or 3 week window to your advantage. Get them pregnant or get pregnant yourself right away, like 1 week into the dating… either that or trap them in your basement.

2. You are awesome---

Musicians are the biggest group of self hating and self deprecating people you can know. Constantly thinking they suck at life, music and scrabble. Although you just might be terrible at ‘Word With Friends’, don’t let people know you suck at music, life or changing flat tires. No one wants to hear a musician complain about how they really really really suck (unless they are a cute bassist). Let me tell you a secret. Once you believe you are the greatest person who ever lived, it is easy for others to think you really are (or at least they will think you are a pompous ass- but… at least they are thinking of you). You are the best.... around. Nobody gonna keep you down.

3. Your band mates hate you---

just like your pet cat, your band mates are constantly plotting different ways to kill you. So watch your back. Best to pee in their beers when they are not looking to show them who’s boss.

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Read Other 5 Questions with...

Joanna Trottier- Go Local Music

Mike Crane- Captain Chet Lawson

Kyle Webber- Ghost Dinner Band

Scott Solsky- BRABSE

Drew Hines - Tyler Road

Bobby Rice- Pat and The Hats

Chris Noyes - Dusty Gray Band

Jeoff Jarnot - The Joint Chiefs

Steve Mcbrian – Crunchy Western Boyss
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Local bands you should checkout-
Dusty Gray Band,Boogie On Alice, The Ghost Dinner Band
The Van Burens
, The 123's, Juliana Cable, Kitchen, The Ron Noyes Band, Diamond Joe, Lucas Gallo, Crunchy Western Boys, BRASBE, Charlie Chamberlain, Run Gazelle Run, Tyler Road, Ways To Fall, Gorilla Finger Dub Band, Yankee Cockfight

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